Can I ask you a question?
What do you think the hardest part of being a parent is?
I'm sure everyone has a different answer for this question.
For me it's not financial stability (although that is up there on the list).
In my opinion the most difficult part of parenting is ironically the most amazing part of parenting.
Which to me is the different levels of responsibility that is required to raise and mold a child. Of course there is the responsibility of meeting your child's basic needs such as making sure they are fed, clothed, clean, and safe. Although, that alone is a lot of work. What I am referring to is the responsibility of deciding what type of person you ultimately want your child to become, and what needs to be done to ensure that they will turn out that way.
The other night I woke up at 4 am. Why? I honestly don't know.
When I woke up I used the restroom, discovered some chocolate in the fridge that I would later deny knowing about when whoever it belonged to is looking for it.
Then I checked on the kids (making sure they are breathing).
As I looked at them I really asked myself with the world being the way it is; what type of people will my kids turn out to be?
I know what I want them to be.
I want them to always believe. Especially in the impossible.
I want them to be honest, Loyal, Kind.
I also want them to be tough. A force to reckon with against enemies.
Hard working, impossible to tear down.
Educated. Know a little something about everything.
Basically, I want them to be the BEST.
What parent doesn't?
But, when I thought about all the qualities I desired for my children. I thought about if I myself possessed any of these qualities.
AM I WHAT I WANT MY CHILDREN TO BECOME?
Because let's face it....
If I'm not displaying Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, and Belief.
Then how can I expect my children to learn to be as well.
And that is what I find to be the most difficult part of parenting.
The fact that when you become a parent you become a 24/hour teacher.
Your child is always watching and studying you.
Some characteristics of a person is genetic. I remember growing up and hearing my mother say to me: "You act just like your daddy!" Hearing that was always so weird to me because I didn't know my father that well. I often thought how can you be like someone you don't know?
But I guess some traits about your personality must be inherited. (Keep in mind I am no expert. Just my opinion).
However, my opinion is also that though some of it is genetic, the other source of a persons personality, behavior, belief, etc.. is observation.
Which is so tricky for me because I have to constantly be aware of myself and my actions in the presence of my children. Which is the most difficult when I'm upset especially with my husband. I want to go off the rails, and yell, and throw things for dramatic effect to get my point across.
But, also to get my husband to think that I'm crazy so that he will back off and back down which means I win! (I won't lie I do that a lot).
I always feel bad later for displaying that behavior if the kids are around because I don't want them thinking it's okay, and I also don't want them to accept that type of behavior from a partner in the future.
It's like a child starts out as a blank canvas, and you the parent gets to decide the type of painting they will become. In their childhood you decide the colors, the tools used in it's making, the style of the painting. When they become adults in the end you ultimately created the image and message your painting will portray for the world to see.
And I am so afraid that one day I am going to make the smallest mistake in my creating phase that I won't notice until it's too late that my painting depicts a different message than what I intended.
One thing I have noticed is that when a child grows up in a two parent household they choose a primary parent.
A primary parent is not a parent the child loves more then the other. No. Not at all. A primary parent is simply the parent the child relates to most. The one the child goes to first, studies a little more, emulates a little more. Most of the time the parent becomes a primary simply because they are around the child a little more.
For my family because I am a stay at home mom, and my handsome husband is out slaying dragons (literally) and providing an amazing life for our family. I became the primary parent for both of my children. It is so obvious in my son Jonah. He emulates a lot of my characteristics. He's very smart, very sweet, and very stubborn. He is over dramatic, and bossy, and protective of his family especially his sister. Now that he is five I had to adjust my habits and ways into ones I want him to copy.
That was very hard. I am still struggling with turning off the TV to pick up a book so that he will do that on his own.
True story someone took him to McDonalds and he refused to get anything because he said McDonalds makes you fat.
He heard me saying that after I watched the "What The Health" documentary.
Which tells you he's studying me.
Calista is also starting to show us that she's observing me. A couple weeks ago she had gotten into my lipstick and put it on her lips, eyebrows, toe nails, and fingers. (Now how she know where make up goes?) These are just examples of my point.
The first teacher for every child is their parents. Unfortunately it's not like school where they only learn from you between the hours of 8am-4pm. As long as they are awake they are observing somebody. And it's not always parents they are learning from. Which brings me back to the severity of the responsibility that is put on you when you become a parent.
You have to meet their basic needs, in addition to always being aware. You need to know what they are exposed to when you are not around. Are they with someone you trust?
Are you teaching them enough about religion? Am I giving each child enough attention? Are they developmentally at a level they should be at? Do they know I love them?
Am I challenging them enough? Am I teaching them proper problem solving techniques?
The list of responsibility goes on and on.
The main question is am I raising them to be the person I want them to be?
And if I am not I know I can always start today.
I know we are all different. We have different opinions, different views on life, different beliefs, different dreams, different struggles.
The one thing we all have in common as a parent is the love we have for our children. The hope we have for them when we first lay eyes on them.
I say this to every parent who finds their way to this post:
I wish you great success in your journey of transforming a canvas into a work of art that you can display proudly!
What do you think the hardest part of being a parent is?
I'm sure everyone has a different answer for this question.
For me it's not financial stability (although that is up there on the list).
In my opinion the most difficult part of parenting is ironically the most amazing part of parenting.
Which to me is the different levels of responsibility that is required to raise and mold a child. Of course there is the responsibility of meeting your child's basic needs such as making sure they are fed, clothed, clean, and safe. Although, that alone is a lot of work. What I am referring to is the responsibility of deciding what type of person you ultimately want your child to become, and what needs to be done to ensure that they will turn out that way.
The other night I woke up at 4 am. Why? I honestly don't know.
When I woke up I used the restroom, discovered some chocolate in the fridge that I would later deny knowing about when whoever it belonged to is looking for it.
Then I checked on the kids (making sure they are breathing).
As I looked at them I really asked myself with the world being the way it is; what type of people will my kids turn out to be?
I know what I want them to be.
I want them to always believe. Especially in the impossible.
I want them to be honest, Loyal, Kind.
I also want them to be tough. A force to reckon with against enemies.
Hard working, impossible to tear down.
Educated. Know a little something about everything.
Basically, I want them to be the BEST.
What parent doesn't?
But, when I thought about all the qualities I desired for my children. I thought about if I myself possessed any of these qualities.
AM I WHAT I WANT MY CHILDREN TO BECOME?
Because let's face it....
If I'm not displaying Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, and Belief.
Then how can I expect my children to learn to be as well.
And that is what I find to be the most difficult part of parenting.
The fact that when you become a parent you become a 24/hour teacher.
Your child is always watching and studying you.
Some characteristics of a person is genetic. I remember growing up and hearing my mother say to me: "You act just like your daddy!" Hearing that was always so weird to me because I didn't know my father that well. I often thought how can you be like someone you don't know?
But I guess some traits about your personality must be inherited. (Keep in mind I am no expert. Just my opinion).
However, my opinion is also that though some of it is genetic, the other source of a persons personality, behavior, belief, etc.. is observation.
Which is so tricky for me because I have to constantly be aware of myself and my actions in the presence of my children. Which is the most difficult when I'm upset especially with my husband. I want to go off the rails, and yell, and throw things for dramatic effect to get my point across.
But, also to get my husband to think that I'm crazy so that he will back off and back down which means I win! (I won't lie I do that a lot).
I always feel bad later for displaying that behavior if the kids are around because I don't want them thinking it's okay, and I also don't want them to accept that type of behavior from a partner in the future.
It's like a child starts out as a blank canvas, and you the parent gets to decide the type of painting they will become. In their childhood you decide the colors, the tools used in it's making, the style of the painting. When they become adults in the end you ultimately created the image and message your painting will portray for the world to see.
And I am so afraid that one day I am going to make the smallest mistake in my creating phase that I won't notice until it's too late that my painting depicts a different message than what I intended.
One thing I have noticed is that when a child grows up in a two parent household they choose a primary parent.
A primary parent is not a parent the child loves more then the other. No. Not at all. A primary parent is simply the parent the child relates to most. The one the child goes to first, studies a little more, emulates a little more. Most of the time the parent becomes a primary simply because they are around the child a little more.
For my family because I am a stay at home mom, and my handsome husband is out slaying dragons (literally) and providing an amazing life for our family. I became the primary parent for both of my children. It is so obvious in my son Jonah. He emulates a lot of my characteristics. He's very smart, very sweet, and very stubborn. He is over dramatic, and bossy, and protective of his family especially his sister. Now that he is five I had to adjust my habits and ways into ones I want him to copy.
That was very hard. I am still struggling with turning off the TV to pick up a book so that he will do that on his own.
True story someone took him to McDonalds and he refused to get anything because he said McDonalds makes you fat.
He heard me saying that after I watched the "What The Health" documentary.
Which tells you he's studying me.
Calista is also starting to show us that she's observing me. A couple weeks ago she had gotten into my lipstick and put it on her lips, eyebrows, toe nails, and fingers. (Now how she know where make up goes?) These are just examples of my point.
The first teacher for every child is their parents. Unfortunately it's not like school where they only learn from you between the hours of 8am-4pm. As long as they are awake they are observing somebody. And it's not always parents they are learning from. Which brings me back to the severity of the responsibility that is put on you when you become a parent.
You have to meet their basic needs, in addition to always being aware. You need to know what they are exposed to when you are not around. Are they with someone you trust?
Are you teaching them enough about religion? Am I giving each child enough attention? Are they developmentally at a level they should be at? Do they know I love them?
Am I challenging them enough? Am I teaching them proper problem solving techniques?
The list of responsibility goes on and on.
The main question is am I raising them to be the person I want them to be?
And if I am not I know I can always start today.
I know we are all different. We have different opinions, different views on life, different beliefs, different dreams, different struggles.
The one thing we all have in common as a parent is the love we have for our children. The hope we have for them when we first lay eyes on them.
I say this to every parent who finds their way to this post:
I wish you great success in your journey of transforming a canvas into a work of art that you can display proudly!
Your masterpiece is a depiction of your true self.
ReplyDeleteAlways welcome to share your thoughts in my page.
Loved this article!!!
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